Ungraceful, yet beautifully Quirky

Nothing is infinite, not even loss.
You are made of the sea and the stars.
And one day, you are going to find yourself again.

A little Bondage never hurt, in fact it mends.

It’s when you kneel before my feet, and your whole body turns off. You are no longer yourself, nor is your body & mind. Your chin tilts up softly towards me and your eyes resemble those of a gentle creature waiting to be held. 

It’s the meek, docile manor in which you speak to me. Your voice is full of worry and anxiety, but behind that front is this beast that i know is waiting for the next command. 

I hear your collar clink as you adjust yourself, and a smirk always grows across my face. You make me glow, and become this radiant being. I feel like your Queen, your ruler… your protector. 

You become this innocent being, this… creature in need of being taken care of. 

Your body shifts just by the slightly touch of my small, latex covered hands. They may be small, and so am i, but i create great power in the stance i take with you. I can feel your breath become shallow and weak as i kneel to your eye level.

You are now like a rabbit when a fox is approaching. Completely still, but your whole body is full of stimulus. You shake and quiver, but you never run. You can’t because you want this too much.

I’ve created so many bruises, scrapes, cuts, and lashes. Your body has been battered and torn at because of me. You’ve been used, and pushed to your limits. Abused… But the trust you have instilled in me is a greater relationship than i could have ever imagined blossoming.  

And to think, i almost lost you little one. We became disconnected. I lost my ocean, and my stars. And i felt this enormous hole, this black pit, growing in my chest for the longest time. The monsters of my nightmares didn’t compare to a world without you.  And i just started to melt into my anxiety. 

I become this dark monster that sat in my mind, worrying about every second of my life… and whether you would belong in the next moment. It was scary, terrifying in fact. 

You no longer became my little one. You didn’t shake and shiver under my touch anymore. That innocent, needing creature was gone. You collar was barely around, and i didn’t hear the clink of that metal anymore. I was no longer your Queen, your ruler.. your protector.

But i needed you. In ways that some people never need another person. And i wasn’t going to sit back and have this fall between the cracks of my life.

So i did what any Queen would do… i reconquered what was mine. I made you remember why you shivered beneath my small hands, and why you craved the very words that slipped out of my lips. 

You fell back beneath me, and that innocent, needing creature came back. I can hear it in the way you say please… i can hear it in the way you beg. Once again your chin tilts up towards me and your eyes are soft with love. And i once have the warm, electric glow that stirs up in my chest when i see your face.

You are my little one. Your body is mine along with your mind. And i am here to protect you, and take care of your needs. I will never back down and i will never abandon you. I will be your Queen, your ruler, and your protector until the end.

I will create more bruises, and scrapes and bites. I will batter and tear at your body once more. I will make you breathless over the words that slip out of these lips and i will always love you. 

4 weeks ago with 0 notes

“I wish I knew how to love someone without killing myself. How to mend hearts without breaking my own. How to kiss and not create bruises.”

Michelle K., Things I Wish I Knew How To Do (via larmoyante)

has 61,878 notes

panic/anxiety attack

jaspinder:

  • breath in for 4 seconds
  • hold your breath for 7 seconds
  • exhale breath for 8 seconds

repeat once or twice more.

This causes an autonomic nervous system shift from a sympathetic (fight or flight reaction) state to a parasympathetic response.

Use this for panic/anxiety attacks, exams, presentations.

4 weeks ago with 454,848 notes